That’s Where We are Going!
We set out for our third day of hiking with two miles of uphill switchbacks in front of us. I had planned this trip nearly ten months prior, having no idea at the time that I would not only be divorced, but would be packed with only days remaining in the place I spent the entirety of my life. The timing. The destination. This trip was from God, honoring all that I had conquered but also showing me I had so much more capability remaining. This trip would also be the last time I was with two of my dearest friends before my 500-mile move, and all the hiking and conversating was the gift my heart needed that week. Mountain air and a lifetime of genuine friendship does the soul good.
We reached the top of the climb as I began stripping off layers despite colder conditions; my skin studded in dewy mountain sweat. It had been quite some time since my body had worked this hard on anything but trauma healing. And it felt so good. After trekking up wooded and uneven terrain, with sneak peaks breaking through the mountain pines of the aqua blue lake that was now reflecting morning clouds, our pace began to slow as we crossed through a picturesque meadow. Morning was now settling in as sunrays danced across wild flowers and grasses. It is both beautiful and surreal to be in a place you where you feel a solemn existence. I began silently celebrating the accomplishment of what my body had just done. Before I could exhale deeper sighs and words of relief, my friend pointed to the mountains traversing the clouds, far into the distance. The mountains were iconic. Powerful. Daunting. Formidable. My trance was broken as I remembered the peanut butter sandwich that was now asking to be consumed, before we retraced the switchback terrain back to the parking lot. I was mid-search for the fuel that would get me home when my sweet friend, in all of her hiking passion and glory, cried out, “Do you see it? That’s where we are going!” That mountain top, just barely kissing the clouds in the far distance, was the actual ending point of the day’s hike.
Dear partner.
There is a reason God doesn’t show us all at once. There is a reason we pause in the meadow, to take in and celebrate a climb we didn’t think we would conquer in the first place. There is a reason we invite our trusted inner circle to help us continue our journey; to celebrate with us at every milestone. And this hike was all of those realizations for me.
The sandwich was consumed, and I did all the validation seeking to not only pep myself up for the miles ahead, but also conquer a fear of heights as we headed toward the clouds. Unlike the first leg of our hike, covered in evergreens with only glimpses of the aqua lake miles below, this next round was entirely exposed on the edge of a mountain. A single path, narrow enough to accommodate one body with a set of hiking poles. Rocks and loose gravel lined the entire way up and back down. My dear friend, an avid and equipped hiker, a genuine and wise soul, insisted that I go first, so she could stop when I stop, and support me when I needed it. I cannot imagine that experience with anyone else. She believed I would make it to the top of that mountain.
And I did.
Sometimes healing looks and feels like this. Unattainable. Uneven. Unimaginable. We walk narrow, uncertain roads on our path to healing; not knowing the how and the when. Healing is not always steady. Healing is not even terrain. Healing is not a predictable journey. Healing is not seen all at once. But together, we can take one step further.
